Filed under: Uncategorized
If I had a chance for another try
I wouldn’t change a thing
It’s made me all of who I am inside
Hannahh. <333
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bored, computing, father, happy, love, mistakes, music, richard, time
Sitting, next to Richard, wishing the time away. Wanting the end of a long, drawn out day. Wanting home, wanting a simpler life. Richard is complaining about Norton, claiming it is the opposite of scanky. A waste of money – draining his fathers resources luckily not his own. Lucky Richards Dad.
Richard describes his father as “a man”.
I’d describe my own father in much the same way.
Is that just our lack of imagination or something else?
Hmm.
I’ve been trying to patch my mistakes. Imagine a boat, with a hole is. And you are holding a bucket. A relentless struggle to stop yourself from sinking – but you know it is an inevitable outcome. Despite this I am striving to improve, I’ve realised some things lately – more so been told some things. I am working on it. I promise.
I’ve also been told some things I like, “I love you too much to stop talking”. You know that feeling you get when you feel really fucking happy? Haha, I don’t know how to explain it. But that made me so happy. Brought back up again – that day was a bad day. Pah.
I doubt anyone reads this. But I really fucking like her. I’m such an idiot. Btw, Yes, you.
A7X made me smile earlier, I forget what song it was but I remembered Sonisphere. -smileeeeee-
I’m downloading their discography as we speak… sort of… I started the download… but had to pause it before I came into school because it’d kill my internet connection seeding – and thus annoy my mum who is working at home…
Shizzle. 28th of january? come round? or 29th. I think I’m free. I don’t know.
Hmm.
Do you still read these? I still look at yours – I know you said you gave up. But I am hopeful you’ll find something worth writting about – feelings?
Anyway, changing the topic to something less… well. Less.
Oh nevermind, I am tired. Going to read my computing book. Linked Lists – GREAT.
<3 x
Filed under: Uncategorized
Is it even possible for me to fuck things up anymore?
I said it. You know. I hope.
I think this keeps me sane. I haven’t written since July, and I’ve had such a fucking rocky road, things keep going wrong. I cant seem to make anything last, my mind is actually caving in on itself. The clouds of confusion mock me, drifting ever closer encroaching on my consciousness- RUINING MY LIFE. Fucking hell.
Things would be so much better if I just had a job. If I could afford to take trains places and meet people.
I don’t really want to go through what has happened since I last wrote to you, I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t know if I can deal with it after opening, showing you the truth, letting you feel what I feel. You control me right now, ice is the only footing I can find. Solid ground aludes me at every turn. I hate it.
Non fanno male a me. That is all I ask.
At how fricken random you can be while still having everythign link together.
Starting now.
Yeah. So basically I was sorta trying to work out my life and turns out that I am single now. I say it turns out… it was sorta my doing so it wasn’t a suprise to me. We just didn’t work out. But we are still friends and we will still meet at Sonisphere. Which by the way… I am going too… and it will be awesome. TO THA MAX. I guess. Half the bands I don’t actually listen to/like (ooopsy) but I can cope with that. As long as it isn’t pissing it down or boiling hot. I don’t like extreme weather you see, most people seem to like really hot weather and go on holiday for it. tbh I hate it cause you get all sticky and swetty and especially on holiday. Why, why would you do that : | Cause of beaches… the sand. URGH. no. it is nasty stuff. nasty nasty stuff. gets everywhere and is very hot on your feet! My feet are pretty scanky. Like well. I don’t like feet so I think all feet are scanky but I put no effort into making my feet look nice. it is sort of like my hands, my nails are horrible cause i bite. I shouldn’t bite my nails cause it wrecks my fingers and half the time i bite too far down and it hurts like a bitch. I don’t know many bitches. I am glad about that really because they aren’t very nice. although Bitch sessions… I can deal with, but I dont always participate because I am far to nice but I like to know the gossip. Although I haven’t had any gossip in a long time. however I did see some pictures on facebook that make me wonder if anythign is going on. I mean.. they were naked in a bed together. I jsut dont know if they are really good firends or lesbians… Talking about lesbians, my ex, ex girlfriend has like gone all out with the relationship with a girl. I don’t usually mind this… but it just makes me giggle because she was pissed off that Ann Summers wouldn’t let her buy a whip. and like I offered to make her one, but she refused to pay me for it so I wasn’t gonna. Talking of money, great money saving method, don’t spend anything ;D It works wonders, but I sorta fail at it. But I fail at a lot of things like relationships(omg i am linking it back up to what i said at the start, how fucking linky am i!!) but only because I don’t seem to pick ones that work… They work for a while init but they end up being a tad shite. Not that this one was shite, it just didn’t get a chance to grow into anything. So now I have relaitonships lasting, 1 week 3 days, 5months(ish) and 1 year 2months(ish)? I don’t remember dates well. Or times, so like they are probably all out by a month, appart fromthe 1 week one, that could be out by a day though. I could easily work it out… but I am far to lazy. That is why I didn’t see my friend today because I was too lazy, I was in bed at 1130 and was having a little fight inside me between lazy matt and wanting to see emily matt. Lazy matt won, after all I was hungry. But all I end up eating these days is tinned food and toast. not the best diet but shuuush you all love it. I say that far too much. but in reality, everyone loves everything a little bit, I love Hitler because he was funny cause he couldn’t get it up. And because he is so fun to talk about and insult. and I think we all loved his little moustach. but I don’t love it enough to have one, because they look funny, i would have to go for the whole goatee. I doubt I would suit it but I would have to have one once, just for a laugh. Laughing is always good tbh, i don’t do it enough. when I was in australia last summer my little cousin asked me why i dont laugh… i was like… I laugh? don’t I? I didn’t know if I laughed but his mum came in to bail me out and explained that i dont laugh loudly but more to myself when i laugh like my uncle. (so that is for if you were wondering) I don’t know. Little children ask the silliest things. I was on youtube earlier and this kids was beeing recorded saying, “I only like you when you give me cookies mummy”. I was like, you selfish little cunt.
The vulgar language brings us to the end of this random random random thing.
Night ya’ll. : )
I thought this was pretty random. They don't even know what it is on the website...
WAGWAN GUISE?
I am alright, had some issues to sort out, but i think they are okay now. (i hope anyways- we talked them through so it should be alright..?) But other than that, I had a random emo moment this morning which was quite bad, where I listened to depressing songs that probably didnt help my situation. On top of that I wasn’t sure where I stood on the whole relationship thing cause I didn’t know what m’lovely bean wanted. She still doesn’t know, but I’m gonna work on it.
So once I’d gotten over my urrrgh i hate everything session I talked to some people, then ordered me a ticket for Sonisphere. ZOMG. should be good, (I’ll talk about that another day) and then I ate some crisps and took my doggy for a walk. (she needs de-hairing massively. but when you try her leg spazams and she looks silly.) So I did that which was okay, but it was very hot, so I got home and got me a strongbow (1st of my 10 for £5) so 9/10 left. So this leaves me here. Listening to Dark Side of the Moon and drinking stronbow in bed!
I would however like some company (not in my bed, but in general) so if anyone reads this and can be arsed to come round today, do so. I’m bored. Like a mountain goat.
lovelove.x
What an odd fellow...
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cropredy, driving, girlfriend, good, love, music, record player, sleep, vinyl
will get a picture of the inside soon. 
Standing Like Statues!!!
Enter Shikari Vinyl came today. f*ckin’ epic. been listening to it all morning at awfully loud volumes. gotta love hench speakers.
Today should be interesting. Lois is meant to be coming round but from last I heard she was still asleep. Which is bad times because she needs a bath and like… wants to spend time with her aunt who is visiting or something… which means she blates wont get to mine til 5. : O and then apparently she has to leave early tomorrow. Which really sucks. Sooooooo for me, that means NO SLEEP. WOOOO
….not like that you little perverted creatures…. 
ahah.
I haven’t really got much planned with mah holiday atm. Got a get together at Lois’ on the 10th? so like yeh. then the…13th/14th to the 16th is cropredy… which is a folk rock festival… yeah. not my kinda musics but w.e, is a family occasion anyhu so i get to see mah crazy family peeps. and I get to see… someone… whose name I have forgotten… I think it has something to do with a flower… I’m not sure. But yeha. Met them a few years back so they can be my social entertainment. (y)
My white abode, do you remember my white abode….
SORRY YOUR NOT a winner…
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT to lose…
CLAP CLAP CLAP
Fucking love it.
aheee.
Seriously man. Fucking awesome… So yeah. Changed my Driving lesson to wednesday so it doesnt interupt mah times with Lois. Which is good. yesyesyyes. zooomggggggg i iz bare excited for this. cause ima love mah lois. is awesome 
brb turning vinyl over.
bk…. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN… SHOW YOUR APPRIECIATION FOR JHONNY SNIPER!!!!! WOOO
Legendary Song. Screw it guys, I’m off. I dunno what to talk about. Plus it is really hard to type something different to what you are singing/screaming. YEAAAH.
This is all I need to feel alive.
x
Having got over my angry moment earlier, I shall now write a post. However I am refusing to talk about anything that I was discussing in the last one. So you shall know nothing about my Crazy Taxi exploits.
I. Have. A Lot. More Vinyls.
Having arranged to buy a load of vinyls off the woman I got the record player off I went to her house to have a ganders at what she had to offer. Which was a lot. a lot a lot. However I picked out.. 42 (31 + 11) yeah. and because the woman is lovely. she let us have them for 40 quid. How nice is she. And then because half of the ones I picked were for my friend, I got Chris round once I got home and he went through and took his + a few extra because I got a few extra that weren’t on the original list I’d given him. And he paid for them. Then. We went to summerfields to buy strongbow- cheapest ever, 10 cans for a fiver. Get in there fast people. Stock up.
So I now have 10 cans of Strongbow and a load of vinyls to torment Lois with tomorrow. Cant wait
But Vinyls are as follows(in no order):
Lynyrd Skynyrd – Second Helping
Elton John – Greatest Hits
The Incredible String Band – Relics Of
Steeleye Span – Below The Salt
The Big Wheels Of Motown
Lynyrd Skynyrd – First and Last
MeatLoaf – Bat Out Of Hell
Arlo Guthrie – Alice’s Restaurant
Arlo Guthrie – Hobo’s Lullabye
Eagles – Deperado
Bob Dylan – Blood on the Tracks
Bob Dylan – At Budokan
Bob Dylan – Greatest Hits
Buddy Holly – Greatest Hits
Pink Floyd – Dark Side of The Moon
Art Garfunkle – Breakaway
Paul Simon – Still Crazy After All These Years
Wishbone Ash – Pilgrimage
Alice Cooper – School’s Out
Jimi Hendrix Expirience – Smash Hits
Led Zeppelin – I
Led Zeppelin – II
Jackson Browne – The Pretender
PLUS the ones I already own:
Paul Simon – Graceland
Bruce Springsteen – The River
And then the singles:
Embrace – Target
Embrace – Cant Come Down
Cord – Winter
Mumm-Ra – Out Of The Question
Goodtimes? y/n?
Bai.
