Walk On Wat- Grass… Otherwise You Will Be In The Water Which You Could Drown In.

…you used to cry,
I said I love you like the stars above,
I’ll love you til I die.

That’d be really wierd wouldn’t it..? If you were having sex, “making love” and then the other person started crying.  I’d be pretty weirded out. Unless of course there was a reason for it, for example, you were doing it in a field and the other person has hayfever- thus making their eyes water. That is a perfectly valid reason to cry during sex. Another one, would be… if you were just told that your whole family has been killed, and you are being raped.

What’d be REALLY bad, would be if you were being raped in a field, with hayfever being a biatch, while surrounded by your dead family members. That would be pretty damn shite.  Ahh well. Whats the likelihood of your whole family dying and being raped in a field, we don’t live in africa here! : O

Now then, stop talking about sex you perverted freak. As great as it is. It’s not what this post is about.

Masturbation. Well no. That’s not what this post is about either. Thats just the first thing i thought of when trying to think of a topic. Show’s how much of a man i am don’t it? But noes, I’m all set on the penis use for today
And you know in a film… i believe its gone in 60 seconds… with Nicholas Cage(OMG BUFF)… some one says that if you sit on your arm and make it go numb then wank, it makes it feel like its being given from someone else. Problems!
1) The way you wank is unique, it’s like how you drive(or fuck).
2) It wouldn’t feel like its someone else, because your whole freeking arm isn’t numb as well.
3) Even if it was numb, wouldn’t you just be put off due to the fact that you cant feel your arm?
4) I tried making my hand numb. (Scientific research yeah) and the second you take the pressure off, you get tingling then feeling back.

So anyone lonely fool, who cant get a wank off someone else, don’t even bother doing this to see what it’s like, It doesn’t work. Just pay your sister or something.(Chris Jeffsticals)

Eurgh.

Anyway, I must now think of another topic of interest… : /
OOO when you are having sex in a field that causes people to have hayfever, do it near horses. (not dead ones) real ones, because you get nice pictures : )  Of the horse’s that is.

I really need to stop talking about OTHER PEOPLES sex lives : )  I best not be going down a nice long line of sexual topics. OH GOD. Someone think of something new. um um um. Hot chocolate.

Don’t you just love hot chocolate. I have a real fetish for it right now, only because fern has some, and I dont. But I am just as happy with my “Tesco’s own Sparkling ORANGE” and my “Tesco’s own(not value!) Custard Creams” : )   I am so easily pleased : ) Though i warn you, do not drink large amounts of the Sparkling orange in one go. It’s really bad for your insides, i can feel the gas building up : )  Attractive?
I cant decide whats better, Custard Creams, or Bourbons. Because I do love a good bourbon… I remember them from primary school, although i’m not entirely sure my taste for things worked to well then… So many days or Baked Beans, Rice and Turkey Twizzlers. God I ate such crap.  Still I loved my primary school. The food was amazing, and I miss my year 3 and 4 teacher, Mr. Lee. He was a legend : ) He gave me a duck thing to put in my bathroom when he left. And! He kept in contact with us all for a while.  When he left we all chipped in a bought him a Red Letter thing, which basically allowed him to do some random activity, and he chose one of the air thingys, where you hang from it, like a glidery thing, but its powered. and he flew over crop formations and took pictures and sent the to us. I think i still have them somewhere : )

And I miss the teacher that did the after school club, she was also a legend, she was a star trek fanatic, and i love them. No I’m not a geek. I can just get really stuck into anything. I have 2 Star Trek DVD’s : ) I love them lots. I have to say, my fave captains have to go, Picard, then the woman who’s name i forget, i think her first name is Jane(thats odd i know her first name but not her last) and then Kurk, but there is deep space nine, and he’s black, I have nothing against black star captainy people, it’s just that was all based on a space station thing, not a space ship, so it was boring : ) plus i  didn’t know half the people on it : )

This is bad; sex, masturbation, drink, food, primary school, teachers, STAR TREK.

It’s like when talking about Famous Vegitarians. It’s one of the only times, Hitler and Ghandi can be put in the same sentance…

Anyway, i refuse to make  you read more than 1000 words, so i will leave this here at what i believe is just over 900. I’m not entirely sure because then word count stopped updating at 885 : o

So my pretty’s. I bid yee fair night, Sleep well fools : )

Sleepy beans.

xxXxx